“This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.“
Her name was Indigo, and I broke her heart.
It all started six years ago in a convenient store on the corner of my block, where I worked part time, stocking shelves and taking out the trash. She was a cashier, and perhaps the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen before in my life. I know that sounds cliche but it’s true.
We’d often go to a fancy restaurant out of town to spend time together. Two spoons to share a peanut butter ice cream dessert before we end the night… Good times.
Things were so much better when we didn’t live together. Being under one roof and sleeping in the same bed every night was to much time together for me. I just think everyone needs time apart to miss someone.
The relationship lasted for four years, and there was no doubt in my mind that I loved her, but for some odd reason, I just couldn’t bring myself to propose to her. She wanted it more than I did, and though it seemed as if we were already married, something in me could not make it official. I never took that step forward. Instead, I became more of an asshole. I wish I could apologize to her now, because she really didn’t deserve to be treated that way, especially from someone who claimed to be so in live with her.
Indigo had enough of being treated like a verbal punching bag. She left and moved on to do all of the great things she always dreamed of doing. As for me, I’m out here in the world looking for her. I know I’ll never find her out here, you only get a girl like that once in your lifetime. She did something to me… Now look at me, falling for any woman who reminds me of that one love lost. I’m pathetic, but I can’t get over her, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. All I know is that a piece of my heart and life is missing, and I need her badly, just to feel complete and comfortable once again.
I’ll never get her back, I know, but anything similar to her will do. I’ll call them the same little pet names I once did her. I’ll dine them at those old restaurants, hoping to recreate the magic and restore the feeling. I’ll lay in bed and run my fingers down that woman’s body as I did with Indigo, as we’d lay in bed late at night, talking about all the places we’d go before we grow old.
Somewhere in this world, someone put a ring on her finger when I couldn’t, and that someone was able to see and appreciate what a great person she truly is. I beat myself up for not being able to do so when I had the chance.
Maria, Crystal, Raquel, Lilani, if only I could combine them all as one whole female, I’d have my one true love once more, but deep down no matter what, they can never be Indigo. Some things are only experienced once, and real love is one of them. I didn’t know how madly in love I am with her until I lost her. This must be hell, my own personal hell. This is an apology.
some things can only be seen with blue eyes. focus. look up or youll miss it. TAG youre it.