Her blood painted over the white bathroom walls and outline her lifeless nude body. The only child, Daddy’s little girl, and soon to be college graduate, destined to be successful in anything she set her mind to, but there was a dark spot in her heart that was beginning to grow, with every insult that came out of her partners mouth, seeing him laugh and smile as he would be having the time of his life, in a bar with other women. It didn’t seem fair to her. She had done everything in her power to keep her boyfriend happy, but it was never enough, he just had to be around other women. Why? what was it that made him seek comfort and joy from another woman, rather than the one who has been loyal to him for five long years. Maybe it was the conversation about children, and how she does not feel ready to be a mother anytime soon. He couldn’t respect that, or her fear for moving away from her mother. Being so close to her had always made her feel at home, but she moved away to be with him, to make him happy.
All alone most nights, cleaning the house, studying, listening to music and imaging a better lifestyle. Loneliness became depressed, which fed that dark spot in her heart, allowing it to grow larger and eat away at what little happiness she had left. Things were never supposed to had been this bad, or bad at all. If she had stayed on the right path, she would’ve graduated a year ago, now it seems to be impossible, due to working a nine to five, with little time to study. There is just not enough time in the day.
Blake is cheating on her, she can feel it in her heart, or that just the cancerous dark spot inside, pushing her to the dark side? It couldn’t be, he’s been hinting at leaving her and “taking things slow,” but how could they ever go back to doing that? They’d been together for five years now, taking it slow would be just as painful as not being with him at all. He didn’t like her as much as he used to, and she was sure of that, often waking up in the middle of the night to notice his back turned to her in bed. She could never figure out what she was doing wrong, he wouldn’t tell her. As days went by, she hated herself more and more for not having whatever that other woman possessed that made her boyfriend leave her in the house alone on a Friday night. She’d look in the mirror and began to believe that she was ugly.
Everything was off track, and nothing seemed to be normal anymore. All she could wish for at this point was to sleep through the days, but sleep didn’t last as long as she would like. If she could just sleep for a few days, months, maybe some years. So she cut her wrist, pretty sure that life had nothing else to offer but pain.
She then woke up from that horrible nightmare of her laying dead in her apartment bathroom. It felt so real, as if it really happened, and God was giving her a second chance. She believed it to be true, and so she began to make changed needed to be happier with her life. She broke up with her boyfriend, quit her job, moved back to her hometown and finished college, as she planned and promised she would long ago. She realized that nothing was more important than her own well being. She realized that anything in this world is possible to attain. and so she began to live life her own way, and began a life-long pursuit to understanding, success, and happiness.
and to think, none of this would’ve been possible, nor would she had ever lived to see it all come true, if she had died in that bathroom.